C.A.R.E.

2nd Annual Walk to Remember

2010-09-10T10:39:00.000-07:00

5th Annual Jonathon's Walk

2010-09-03T11:48:00.000-07:00

Jonathon's Walk raises money and much needed awareness about this monster disease that is taking the lives of children, Atypical Tereatoid Rhabdoid Teratoma (the rarest most aggressive form of Cancer in the Pediatric field) All Proceeds go to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital for ATRT research.

Come out this Saturday September 4, 2010

@ Veterans Memorial Park

from 8-11am.

BBQ to follow after the walk.

For more information visit jonathonswalk.squarespace.com

Another Treasure Remembered Today " turning trandgy into triumph"

SVRHC CARE Program 2nd Annual Walk to Remember

2010-09-01T09:47:00.000-07:00

DATE CHANGE: The 2nd Annual Walk to Remember will be held
Sunday Oct. 10, 2010 please make that change to your calendars!

October is National Pregnancy Loss and Awareness Month
We will be honoring our precious loved children with our annual walk/run to remember

Sign-In and registration begins promptly @ 730am under the Ramada by the volleyball courts in Veterans Memorial Park.

The 5k run and 1.5 memorial walk wil begin promptly @ 8am.

The cereemony will be brought to a close with dedication poems, a balloon release, and light refreshments.

This is a free event and the first 50registrants will recieve a free Walk to Remember T-shirt

For more information contact Rebecca Buksh @ 417-4557 or rebecca.buksh@svrhc.org

If you are interested in volunteering with the walk/run or reading a poem please notify Rebecca before Sept. 15.

I look forward to seeing you all there, Don't forget Sunday Oct. 10! Spread the word............

Star Registry

2010-08-27T14:40:00.000-07:00

Perhaps, they are not stars

But rather openings in Heaven,

Where the love of our lost ones

Pours down through

and shines upon us

To let us know they are happy.

-Inspired by Eskimo Legend

Since 1979, the International Star Registry has been bringing customers dreams to earth by offering a unique and magical opportunity to name a star. Honor your loved one and visit http://www.starregistry.com/

UPCOMING: MISS CONFERENCE

2010-08-20T16:12:00.000-07:00

The MISS Foundation is a volunteer based nonprofit which provides support, education, advocacy and research after the death of a child at any age and from any cause.

Our conference is multi-disciplinary in that bereaved families and

professionals attend, which includes a separate Kids Kamp for children 5-17

years of age.

If you are interested in attending visit http://missfoundation.org/events/Events_2010Conf_Postcard.pdf

Here is what will be covered at the conference http://missfoundation.org/events/Events_2010Conf_Program.pdf.

For more information visit http://www.missfoundation.org/pro/articles/stillbirth.html

Looking for something to do this weekend?!

2010-08-18T15:53:00.000-07:00

Farmer John’s Birthday Party & Willcox March for Zane 2010 (map & directions)

Apple Annie’s Orchard and Apple Annie’s Produce & Pumpkins

August 21-22

8:00 AM – 5:30 PM

To celebrate Farmer John’s birthday, all of the You-Pick vegetables at Apple Annie’s Produce & Pumpkins will be specially priced at 20% off and all of the You-Pick fruit at Apple Annie’s Orchard will be specially priced at 20% off, too ! In honor & memory of our grandson Zane, who shares Farmer John’s birthday, 100% of today’s Burger Barn lunch proceeds will be donated to March of Dimes. Please come enjoy a delicious burger lunch and help a wonderful cause! Lunch served 11 AM – 3 PM at the orchard location.

http://www.appleannies.com/

Stillbirth and SUID Prevention, Education and Awareness Act (S1445/HR3212) Update

2010-08-18T13:31:00.000-07:00

Stillbirth and SUID Prevention, Education and Awareness Act (S1445/HR3212) Update

If you live in AK, AZ, GA, KS, NC, NH, OK, TN, UT, WY we need you to contact your Senator immediately! Follow the link below, PLEASE fill out our quick and easy Online Advocacy Form now. It will generate an immediate email to them requesting they co-sponsor S1445. Emails from their constituents prior to our meeting with them would greatly help pave the way for success.

http://www.firstcandle.org/2010/08/18/advocacy-alert-your-help-is-needed-3/

Note: If you live in one of these states and are a SIDS parent who experienced issues with the Medical Examiner, Coroner, first responders or hospital and/or have been unable to find support services in your area please contact linda@cjsids.org with your story. We would like to provide concrete examples to these Senators.
Please pass the word on, it only takes a few minutes.

Time to Honor and Remeber Our Precious Angels with a video.

2010-08-11T10:46:00.000-07:00

Time to honor and remember our precious angels for

October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day!

send your photos for the October 15th video to angelicmemories1@gmail.com
Please include the following information:
Full Name
DOB
Angel date

No more than 3 photos of your choice. If you don't have any pictures, please include a graphic you like or I can make one for you. Just let me know what symbol you like for your angel(butterfly, angels, clouds, ladybugs etc..)

Any other pertinent information you would like to include: Stillbirth, preemie angel, SIDS, miscarriage etc...
Photos due by Sept 20! This will give me time to put it together in time for October 15th. I will post the videos(in sections because of the length) on youtube and I will also have the dvd for sale. Thank you so much for letting me include your angels in this very special video! It is an honor to me to be able to remember and cherish these special little lives that have touched our hearts!!!
***If your angel was in the video last year and you want them in it again, you must email me! I still have the photos but will need the info for your angel(s). If you do not hear back from me with a confirmation that I got your pictures within a few days, please shoot me a quick email asking me if I got them. We has some issues last year and some angels were missed. I will respond to every email that way you know your angel will be included.
Last years video for October 15th (part 1)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6IYnmKy0-w

Thanks again and God Bless

Audra Leighton

Jonathons Walk

2010-07-14T15:50:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to pass this information along........

Join Rebekah along with her family and friends on July 16-19 for Dining to Donate at Applebee's. Come in for Lunch, Happy Hour or Dinner for a good cause. Tell your server that you are there for Jonathon's walk. This si to ensure all proceeds go to St. Jude Children's Hospital for A.T.R.T research. For more information, check out http://www.jonathonswalk.com/ or call Rebekah at 520-227-6180.

Our Support Group

2010-06-16T15:38:00.000-07:00

I started going to the CARE Support Group after my life changed almost a year ago. After the worst experience of my life I learned to rely on the support group to help me to the next step of my grieving process.

Unfortunately, I can not turn back time to become

naive once again and think that every pregnancy brings a child into the world 9 months later. But, like many other mothers, my angel was taken much too quickly. This

support group has helped me move forward. This support group has become my support group, my strength to move forward.
When my life fell apart, I didn’t know how I would continue on. If I would tell you that one thing in my life has helped, it has been this support group and all the mothers and fathers involved. I know now that I’m not alone and that we each feel for each other and hurt with everyone’s loss. When I didn’t think anyone understood, the support group told me I wasn’t alone. They were suddenly my friends. I began to look forward to meeting with everyone to tell me that what I was feeling was normal.
The world has told us all to move on, maybe after a few weeks, or at most a month. The world forgets our loss. But the support group has reminded me that my loss will always be a part of my life. The support group has given me strength to have good days. Strength to move to the next anniversary of my loss or my due date. The support group knows and understands without having to explain why you are having bad days, weeks, months or even years later. I know I would not be here today without the support group.
I would like to invite each of you to come and join us at the support group. It will be the best decision you will make during the hardest time of your life. We are all in different stages in our grieving process but we become each others strength, and we all feel each others pain. Let us become your support group. Your strength. Your friend. And your shoulder to cry on.
Thank you to the support group and to everyone who makes it possible.

SUPPORT GROUP

MEETS EVERY 1ST TUESDAY OF EACH MONTH

FROM 6:30-8PM

SVRHC OLSON CONFERENCE ROOM

417-4557 FOR MORE INFORMATION

Infertility

2010-06-02T14:12:00.000-07:00

To follow up on a topic that was touched on at last nights group I found statistics and thought I would share. Please feel free to comment. How common is infertility? About 10-15% of women (6.1 million) in the United States ages 15-44 have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
Infertility is defined as not being able to get pregnant despite having frequent, unprotected sex for at least a year.

Tear Jars

2010-06-02T10:17:00.000-07:00

In ancient Greece, water was prized above all. Giving up water from one's own body, when crying tears for the dead, was considered a sacrifice. Tear Jars caught their precious tears, and their tears became holy water and could be used to sprinkle on doorways to keep out evil, or to cool the brow of a sick child. Tear Jars were kept unpainted until the owner had experienced the death of a parent, sibling, child, or spouse. After that the grieving person decorated the tear jar with intricate designs. This symbolized that they had not "gotten over" their grief, but rather, "grown through" it. they appreciate relationships and life more, and find meaning in the little things.

When a loved one dies, the resulting feelings of grief can be so painful that we tend to bury them, and they reamain unresolved. Feelings that are unresolved stay with us at all times, weighting us down. It takes courage to sit down and take them out one by one.

Grief is never forgotten!

Lending Library Donation

2010-05-05T10:34:00.000-07:00

I would like to express sincere gratitude to the Sharon Schade for donating a book to the CARE lending library.

Thank you for your donation!

REMINDER: SUPPORT GROUP MAY 4

2010-04-30T16:17:00.000-07:00

Come Join us for our monthly support group!

Our next meeting is this Tuesday May 4
6:30-8pm
Olson Conference Room
located across from the hospital on El Camino Real.

Any questions please feel free to contact Rebecca at 417-4557 or rebecca.buksh@svrhc.org

"Do not walk the road of grief alone".
We are a peer support group open to all families that have suffered the loss of a baby, whether through early pregnancy loss, misscarriage, stillborn, or newborn death.

Bereavement Photography

2010-04-30T08:53:00.000-07:00

A priceless gift to families

http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/ct-news-bereavement-photographer-20100411,0,3237872.story?page=1

New Books For Lending Library

2010-04-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

Today the CARE program added a few more books to the Lending Library.

I Never Held You (Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery) by Ellen M. DuBois
Miscarriage (A Mans Book) by Rick Wheat
A Guide for Fathers(When a Baby Dies) by Tim Nelson
Another Baby? Maybe.....(30 questions on Pregnancy After Loss) by Sherokee Ilse & Maribeth Wilder Doerr
When Pregnancy Follows a Loss (Preparing for the birth of your new baby) by Joann O'Leary & Clare Throrwick
The Anguish of Loss ( A grief journey of love and hope) by Julie Fritsch with Sherokee Ilse
Couple Communication After A Baby Dies ( Differing Perspectives) by Sherokee Ilse& Tim Nelson
Dear Cheyenne (A book for bereaved parents & those who love them) by Joanne Cacciatore

If interested in checking any of these out or the many other books we have in our lending library, contact Rebecca 417-4557 or rebecca.buksh@svrhc.org
These books will also be available for review at our support group. Next meeting Tuesday May 4th from 630-8pm @ Olson Conference Room.

Mothers Day

2010-04-16T13:32:00.000-07:00

With Mothers Day approaching, you may have already started to experience anxiety building over this day. Mothers Day can be difficult for mothers and fathers, you both may feel lonesome, confused, and/or saddened by this day. You are all mothers, whether you have living children or not. You are still mothers. You may not be able to care for your child on earth, but motherhood remains within you.

Happy Mother’s Day to those of you who have only dreamed of a child you could never conceive.

Happy Mother’s Day to those of you who never got to feel your child flutter in your womb for he was gone too soon.

Happy Mother’s Day to those of you who went through labor to hold a still, silent yet perfect angel baby in your arms.

Happy Mother’s Day to those of you who looked day by day at your healthy baby only to find her silent, cold and gone one day.

Happy Mother’s Day to those of you who fought hard and whose child fought harder for a life too short.

Some ideas for Mothers Day:

Buy yourself a mothers day card or memento
Plant flowers
Proudly wear a corsage out (Yellow is for a bereaved mother)
Visit your childs grave or special place
Light a candle for your child
buy extra soft tissues and take care
Its your day do what you can.

Check out this website and to get 10% off your order enter coupon code mothersday2010
http://www.october15th.com/newsletter/mothersday2010.htm

DONATION

2010-04-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

I would like to express sincere gratitude to the MOMS Club of Sierra Vista-East for making a very kind donation in memory of Paige Tejeda born still on 1/22/2010.

Thank you, your donation will greatly impact our program and the families we work with!

Mary Madeline Project

2010-03-26T13:24:00.004-07:00

Sierra Vista Regional Health Center Maternal Child Unit is very pleased to announce that they are now recipents of Mary Madeline baby burial gowns and blankets.

The Mary Madeline Project was founded in memory of Madeline Marie Erickson who died at seven weeks of age and in honor of all the babies before and after her that have touched our lives. They are a non-profit organization that donates infant/baby burial gowns and blankets to local hospitals for bereaving parents.

Women donate their cherished wedding gowns, bridesmaid dresses or prom gowns to the project and volunteers give of their time, talents, and love by making the baby burial gowns and blankets.

Their goal is to provide comfort to grieving families. They put memory tags in all outfits, so along with donated wedding gowns one can include in memory of.

Please visit their website and check out their beautiful work that we are now able to offer to our families.
http://www.marymadelineproject.org/

2010-03-17T12:12:00.003-07:00

HAPPY ST.PATRICKS DAY!

Check out remembering our babies for great discounts on window decals and other great memorabilia.

Save 20% Coupon valid on any item in the Remembering Our Babies Memorial Boutique. Please use coupon code stpatricksday at checkout.

http://www.rememberingourbabies.net
Offer Expires: April 4, 2010

Grief vs. Depression

2010-03-10T13:06:00.003-07:00

After the death of your baby there are many emotions one may experience and often you may not know how to explain your feelings or how to get help. A common question often asked, “Is this normal grieving or am I falling into depression. Often times these two can be easily mixed up and you can drive yourself crazy trying to decipher which one you are actually experiencing. After the death of your baby you may experience the normal grief response which is often an intense emotional and physical response to the loss which may come in waves and make you feel like you are on an emotional rollercoaster. It is most important to realize that normal grief does not usually turn into depression. Although it takes time you will learn to adjust your life what your new norm is after your babies death.

Things to watch for are how long the symptoms last and if they get worse. This could be complicated grief or depression.

These two charts give an overview of characteristics of grief and depression. If in doubt seek a medical professional or counselor to be evaluated.

Grief:
A normal complicated response to loss that causes distress
May experience some physical symptoms of distress
Still able to look toward the future
Passive wish for death
Associated with disease progression
Retains capacity for pleasure
Still able to express feelings and humor
Comes in waves
Can cope with distress on own or with supportive listening

Depression:
Generalized distress – loss of interest, pleasure
Somatic distress, hopelessness, guilt
No sense of positive future
Bored, lack of interest and expression
Suicidal ideation not uncommon
Persistent flat affect, negative self-image
Advanced disease and pain
Change in capacity to enjoy life or things that were formerly pleasurable
Constant, unremitting
Often requires intervention with medication, therapy

Source: Casarett D, Kutner JS, Abrahm J. Life after Death: A Practical Approach to Grief and Bereavement. Ann Intern Med 2001;134:208-215.

Trisomy Awareness Month

2010-03-05T11:29:00.002-07:00

March is Trisomy Awareness Month!

WHEREAS, trisomy is the presence, within a person’s cells, of an extra set of chromosomes instead of the regular two.

WHEREAS, the most common trisomies in newborns are trisomy 21 (Down syndrome), trisomy 18 (Edwards syndrome), and trisomy 13 (Patau syndrome).

WHEREAS, trisomy pregnancies can present unusual complications and can be more at-risk than non-trisomy pregnancies.

WHEREAS, the life of every child is precious, regardless of the number of chromosomes he or she may possess.

WHEREAS, parents should take advantage of the local support groups and online communities that offer education, encouragement, and counseling for those managing trisomy pregnancies or raising trisomy-affected children.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, Sarah Palin, Governor of the state of Alaska, do hereby proclaim March 2009 as: Trisomy Awareness Month

in Alaska, and give full support to raising awareness and education for all forms of trisomy, as well as efforts supporting families experiencing trisomy, and to helping people with developmental disabilities achieve their full potential.

Dated: February 25, 2009

Links to check out:

Please pass this information on!

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week Feb7-14

2010-02-08T12:05:00.003-07:00

"Help Educate and Save Babies Lives"
(http://tchin.org/aware/symptoms.htm)

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Month

2010-02-01T09:18:00.002-07:00

A day for hearts is February 14
Congenital heart defect awareness week Feb7-14
Please help spread awareness on the most common birth defect

Congenital heart defects are responsible for more deaths in the first year of life than any other birth defect, the National Institutes of Health reports. There are about 1 million people alive in the United States alone who were born with a heart defect. If you or someone you loved has been touched by CHD here are some helpful tips:
1) Network with other parents constantly. They are a major resource of knowledge on all ranges of topics. You cannot spend too much time doing this.

2) Network with.

3) Read, read, read.

4) Go to meetings, trainings, and conferences -- everything you can go to gain knowledge.

5) Get the support of family members and friends. They can help in many areas.

6) Detailed knowledge of your child can make a huge difference.

7) Keep learning. Don't get over confident in your knowledge.

Helpful Sites:
http://tchin.org/community/index.htm
http://www.congenitalheartdefects.com/
http://www.chdinfo.com/chdaware/
http://www.craftsnscraps.com/jewelry/chdribbon.html

24 Hour Grief Counselors

2010-01-25T15:48:00.002-07:00

Grief counselors are a phone call away, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Please do not hesitate to contact if you, or someone you know, needs help. Call toll-free at
1-800-221-7437

Copy this phone number and keep it handy for yourself or others. Counselors are available 24/7.

Thoughts on Journaling

2010-01-18T15:08:00.003-07:00

~There is no right or wrong way to journal
~Like a best friend, your journal is always there for you
~ It will never judge you or reject you because of where you are or what you are feeling
~ It provides an outlet for the thoughts and feelings that keep circling in your mind rather than stuffing them and carrying them around with you
~ It is a safe place to process those thoughts and feelings
~It provides a written record of your grief journey so when you hit hard places you can look back and be reminded of how you got through the times before and how far you have really come, despite how you feel
~It becomes a treasured memory of your baby's life
~It helps you to make sense of the events in your life and find the lessons buried deep within your pain
~It ultimately leads you to accepting your loss and gaining a new perspecitve so you can grow
~You can write about whatever is going on, it doesn't have to be just grief
~ You can also write about the blessings that come

By: Jennifer Carson

MILITARY FAMILIES

2010-01-06T11:20:00.002-07:00

Military families whose child is stillborn (on or after 10/10/2008) may be eligible for $10,000 life insurance payment.The definition of Stillborn is 20+ weeks gestation or over 350grams.

SGLI Dependent Child Coverage has been extended to Include Stillborn Children
Effective 11/18/2009, the law expanded the SGLI program to include a member's "stillborn child" as an insurable dependent. SGLI dependent coverage provides for a $10,000 payment to the insured service member upon the death of the member's dependent child. Prior to the passage of the law, a member's "stillborn child" was not covered by SGLI. This change applies only for stillbirths on or after 10/10/2008.

Check out the link below or contact the Casualty Assistance office for more information.

http://www.insurance.va.gov/sgliSite/FSGLI/sglifam.htm

Support Group (Location Changed!)

2010-01-04T11:51:00.002-07:00

Join us this and every 1st Tuesday of the month for our Support group.

WHO: anyone who has been affected by a lss of an infant or newborn whether through early pregnancy loss, miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal loss

WHEN: The 1st Tuesday of every month

Where: 300 El Camino Real Olson Conference Room ( Located Across El Camino Real from the hospital)

TIME: 630-8pm

CONTACT: Rebecca 520-417-4557

This month we will discuss group goals for the coming year, what helped you make it through the holiday season, and the grief baraometer.

See you all tomorrow!

Slideshow for Candlelighting

2009-11-23T14:04:00.002-07:00

This year our Annual Candle lighting will be held Sunday December 13, 2009 @ 630 pm. It will take place at Ramada 3 (the first ramada directly to your right when entering the park off of fry blvd.) in Veterans Memorial Park. Brian from our group has agreed to put together a slideshow for the ceremony. Please submit a picture that you would like included to rebecca.buksh@svrhc.org and please pass on. This is open to everyone, no matter if they delivered here at SVRHC or not.

Thank you! Look forward to seeing you all on Sunday Decemeber 13.

Slideshow from Walk 2009

2009-11-23T12:11:00.000-07:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

2009 Holiday Packet

2009-11-19T13:52:00.003-07:00

As the holidays are fast approaching the CARE program has come up with a packet to let you know that we are thinking of you and know that holidays can be especially hard while grieving. Please keep a lookout in the mall for your packet! Our hope is that this packet will help make this holiday season a little more bearable and less fatiguing for you and your family.

Enclosed in the holiday packet are a list of suggestions, a holiday checklist, and a december 2009 calendar with daily suggestions and activities.

In the month of December we have our support group on Dec. 1st at 1840 Paseo San Luis and on Sunday December 13 we will host a worldwide candle lighting vigil. So please check back for details.

Our thoughts are with you and your family,
CARE Staff

CAREWEAR

2009-11-16T13:23:00.003-07:00

A huge THANK YOU shout out to CARE WEAR volunteer (www.carewear) for her donation of kimono's and gowns to our program. CAREWEAR is a nationwide group of volunteers who provide handmade baby items to hospitals. If you would like more information please visit their website.

The donation was greatly appreciated!

For more information on making a donation or contribution to the CARE program please call 417-4557 or Eva Dickerson with the SVRHC foundation at 417-4991.

Support Group Nov.3 (6:30-8pm)

2009-10-29T10:52:00.002-07:00

Join us this and every 1st Tuesday of the month for our Support group.

WHO: anyone who has been affected by a lss of an infant or newborn whether through early pregnancy loss, miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal loss

WHEN: The 1st Tuesday of every month

Where: 1840 Paseo San Luis SVRHC Outreach Center

TIME: 630-8pm

CONTACT: Rebecca 520-417-4557

This month we will discuss ideas and helpful strategies of making it through the holiday season.

December Calendar
Holiday Checklist
List of ideas for remembering our loved ones

Remember there is no right or wrong way. Everyone grieves differently. Honor yourself and your grieving.

See you Tuesday!

Thank you

2009-10-26T13:39:00.002-07:00

The CARE program would like to thank everyone for coming out and supporting SVRHC C.A.R.E 1st Annual Walk to Remember. It was a huge success with an offical head count of 89 attendees. We look forward to growing this event for next year. Any comments or suggestions are greatly appreciated. rebecca.buksh@svrhc.org
This is the article from SV herald
http://svherald.com/content/news/2009/10/26/walk-remembers-children-who-have-died

1st Annual Walk to Remember

2009-10-19T08:51:00.001-07:00

Sierra Vista Regional Health Center
CARE Program

1st Annual Walk to Remember

Honoring Our Precious Babies

Sunday, October 25th
2pm
Veterans’ Memorial Park
Ramada 2

For more information about the SVRHC
CARE Program, please call 417-4557.

"We walk for the steps
they will never take"

October 15 Video

2009-10-13T10:21:00.001-07:00

I wanted to share this with all of you. Remember this Thursday October 15 is

National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

Remembering Our BabiesOctober 15th Video Presentation
October 13, 2009

The October 15th Video Presentation made by Audra Leighton is now complete. Because we had so many angels to pay tribute to, the video had to be cut into 6 parts for YouTube.

You may order a full copy of the DVD from Audra Leighton. The information is below.

Part 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6IYnmKy0-w

Part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWgIGglnx7E

Part 3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpUzmdTdmdQ

Part 4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_trURzP_dDU

Part 5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Sk01MOQTr8

Part 6 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Do5fovnmKcY

Thanks to all the angel parents Video made by www.myangelicmemorials.comFor ordering information please email Audra @ angelicmemories1@gmail.com
DVD copies are $10/video(this includes shipping)DVD's will be the whole video (not split into sections)Sorry I had to split it. YouTube only allows 10mins at a time.Thanks so much for allowing me to do this!!!!God BlessAudra Leightonwww.rance-wade-leighton.memory-of.com
For more information on October 15th please visit:

http://www.october15th.com

http://www.rememberingourbabies.net

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

2009-10-05T14:49:00.004-07:00

In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan Proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. "When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, their isn't a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes."Robyn Bear, Founder, Lisa Brown, Co-Founder, and Tammy Novak, Co-Founder of www.october15th.com envisioned a day when all grieving parents could come together and be surrounded by love and support from their friends and families, a day where the community could better understand their pain and learn how to reach out to those grieving. This would be a day to reflect on the loss yet embrace the love. While our babies’ lives were so brief, they were also very meaningful. Yet, their was not a time to talk about them. Our society seemed to forget or perhaps, simply didn't know how to reach out. Since October had been proclaimed "Awareness Month", she chose a day, in the middle of the month to become, "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day". We are asking everyone in all times zones, worldwide, to join us in a candle lighting ceremony at 7pm on October 15th. For more information, please contact Robyn Bear.

( Taken from http://www.october15th.com/)

Please keep checking back this month for ideas to help create awareness....

Announcement from National Center for Child Death Review

2009-08-04T12:36:00.000-07:00

Announcement from National Center for Child Death Review
Tuesday, July 14, 2009

WASHINGTON, DC - Senator Frank R. Lautenberg (D-NJ) and Congressman Frank Pallone, Jr. (D-NJ-6) today introduced a bill to help reduce the number of unexpected infant deaths in America by calling for new research and education on stillbirths and Sudden Unexpected Infant Death (SUID). Every year, there are more than 25,000 stillbirths and more than 4,600 sudden unexpected infant deaths in the United States.

"The loss of a child is devastating, and no parent should have to live without knowing why their child has died. We need to learn more about stillbirths and sudden infant deaths so we can not only give parents peace of mind after a tragedy, but hopefully prevent some of these deaths in the future," Sen. Lautenberg said. "Our bill would improve data collection and education so we can better understand the cause of these deaths and help parents get the information and answers they need to prevent them."

"As a father of three children, I understand the anxiety that parents go through when having a child. We do everything possible to keep our children safe and hope they are healthy," Pallone said. "But for thousands of families every year, sudden infant death syndrome and stillbirths mean the loss of their child with no explanation. Senator Lautenberg and I introduced this bill because no parent should have to endure the tragedy of losing a child with no answers and no help. This bill will fund investigations to finally provide some answers by creating a national registry to help researchers understand the scope and impact of these tragedies and raising awareness through education campaigns that will help parents decrease risk factors that can contribute to SUID and stillbirths every year."

There is no known cause for as many as half of all stillbirths in the United States, leaving many parents without answers to the reasons for these deaths. Lautenberg’s and Pallone’s bill, the Stillbirth and SUID Prevention, Education, and Awareness Act, would improve the collection of critical data to determine the causes of stillbirth, Sudden Unexpected Infant Death (SUID) and Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC), increase education and awareness about how to prevent these tragedies in the future and expand support services for families who have experienced a stillbirth or SUID loss. Specifically it would:

• Expand current data collection activities to additional states to identify the causes of stillbirth and ways to prevent it in the future.
• Create a national public awareness and education campaign to educate parents and caregivers about known risk factors for sudden unexpected death in infancy and childhood.
• Expand support services, such as grief counseling, for families who have experienced stillbirth or SUID.
• Establish a national database to track SUID deaths and identify risk factors to prevent them in the future.
• Expand successful child death review programs to track and analyze the circumstances surrounding infant’s and children’s deaths in their community.

The bill has been endorsed by CJ Foundation for SIDS and the Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood Program (based in New Jersey), Cribs for Kids, Northwest Infant Survival Alliance (NISA), Home Safety Council, Safe Kids USA, and First Candle, all nonprofits working to stop infant mortality, as well as the National Association of Medical Examiners (NAME), International Association of Coroners and Medical Examiners (IAC&ME) and the National Sheriffs’ Association.

Theresa M. Covington,
MPH Executive Director National Center for Child Death Review
1115 Massachusetts Avenue, NW Washington,
DC 20005

I AM.........

2009-07-28T10:56:00.003-07:00

I AM A MOTHER, FATHER, BROTHER, SISTER, GRANDPARENT.

After the loss of your baby. You may have to explain and help your other children mourn the loss as well. Children are like adults they all grieve in their own way and at their own pace. Children often have a hard time voicing how they feel. They may need a lot of guidance and support from you to help them cope. The most important thing to do is keep the communication open by talking often with your children. Talk to them in a group as well as on an individual basis. Encourage them to ask questions. Watch how your child plays and interacts with others to help give you clues on how they are coping or feeling that day. Anger is a common behavior when dealing with children and grief. Let your child know you are there and here to help them. Touch is extremely important and effective so don’t be afraid to hold and physically comfort your child—this may help you as well. If you are still concerned and feel your child needs more support than you can offer, please consult a grief counselor.

NO FAMILY SHOULD WALK THE JOURNEY OF GRIEF ALONE AFTER THEIR CHILDS DEATH

Please join us for the CARE Support Group. It is always held the first Tuesday of every month from 6:30-8pm at 1840 Paseo San Luis in the SVRHC Outreach Center.

Thank You To All That Attended

2009-06-03T10:48:00.004-07:00

Thank you to all that attended the First Annual Mothers/Fathers Day Celebration at Veterans Memorial Park. We had a small gathering of parents and siblings that came out to honor their babies and to be honored for Mothers and Fathers Day. Short messages were inscribed on the various colored latex balloons that were than released after two poems were read. Parents gathered in a small circle to watch as the balloons disappeared into the heavens above. After the balloon release parents gathered around for refreshments and reflection. Each family member left with a heart shaped pin attached to the poems listed below.

Father’s Day
Dad, you support mom along the way
Waiting for the time and day
When you can hold your daughter or son
And you can finally be the one
To toss your babe above your head
And tuck him in his waiting bed
Make a toy or buy a drum
Your time was near, but did not come.
Who knew you would be standing nigh
And have to prematurely say goodbye?
This day is yours and yet it’s not
Others don’t see the many tears you fought
To hold within and look so strong
As you tried to say nothing wrong.
On this your special Father’s Day
Remember your baby who would want to say,
“I love you Dad. You are the one.
I’ll always be your daughter (or son.)
Feel my kiss upon your cheek
And know that someday I believe we’ll meet.
Until then, let your tears come, (or not)
And love my mommy lots and lots.”

S. Ilse 2009

Mothers Remembered
As you recall,
Your womb cradled your baby gently,
Your arms embraced your baby lovingly,
And your own mom carried you excitedly.
Remember the beauty of this unending circle of love.
You are always a mom, loved by a mom.
Separation and death can’t break it.
This bond and love endures,
Forever and always.
Moms remember.
Moms are to be remembered.
It is the only way.
The right way.
God’s way.

Remember, mom, remember.

S. Ilse 2009

Thank you!

Mothers and Fathers Day Event

2009-05-14T12:49:00.003-07:00

As We Celebrate Mothers and Fathers Day
Please
Join Sierra Vista Regional Health Center’s C.A.R.E Program
on
May 23, 2009 from 11am-1pm
at the
Veterans Memorial Park Ramada 1 (by the volleyball court)

This event is to honor all the bereaved parents who are often overlooked during these holidays.
There will be a balloon release, refreshments, networking, and a memory item display.

SVRHC C.A.R.E Program: is for anyone who has been affected by a loss of an infant or newborn,
whether through early pregnancy loss, miscarriage, still birth, or neonatal loss.
For information about this event or about the C.A.R.E Support Group
please call Rebecca at 234-0809.

Mothers Day

2009-05-07T13:18:00.002-07:00

First and foremost,
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to ALL!
Often times this holiday is one of the more dreaded holidays among bereaved mothers. You are a very special mother of a precious child(ren) and will always be that mother. Even though your child(ren) is no longer here to celebrate with you, don't let others forget that you are a mother. Go out and celebrate yourself as a mother and the precious time you had with your child. Whether you pamper yourself at home while relaxing and reflecting or are surrounded by family and friends celebrate your day as a mother. Don't let yourself or anyone else forget that you are a mother and talk about your child(ren) as others talk about their living children.

Also remember many times others are hesitant and do not know how to respond to you on Mothers Day, let your family and friends now what you would like them to do for you. Whether you would like them to celebrate the day with you or remember you by getting you a Mothers Day card. Please let them know that this day is important for you and you would like to be honored along with the many other Mothers.

* * * * A Mother's Day corsage has a meaning of it's own.*****
A Mom with a Yellow Corsage,says she is always in grief. She lost the child she cherishes... Her flowers make up a wreath.

Happy Mothers Day!

The Power of Baby Photos

2009-04-20T13:37:00.004-07:00

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Author of Empty Arms, Sherokee Ilse will be in Sierra Vista

2009-04-02T10:21:00.002-07:00

This month at our support group on Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 6:30 pm, Sherokee Ilse, a bereaved mom and author of Empty Arms will be a guest speaker. She will be sharing her 27+ years of experience working with families in a discussion geared for couples to better understand each other's grieving and surviving styles, as well as how family members 'cope' and how to communicate with them. Sherokee and Tim Nelson just wrote and published their book, Couple Communication After a Baby Dies: Differing Perspectives.

Please come out and join us, everyone is welcome!

The C.A.R.E. Support Group meets the first Tuesday of each month at 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. in Sierra Vista Regional Health Center’s Outreach Education Center located at 1840 Paseo San Luis. Any questions please contact Rebecca Buksh @234-0809.

Honor your baby...Impact Congress March 25

2009-03-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

Honor your baby...Impact Congress

Help us send parents to Washington DC for the Infant Loss Symposium and
meetings with Congressmen on March 24-25, 2009

And let us bring your babies pictures and stories with us!

We invite you to help support important Stilbirth/SIDS legislation by
participating in the creation of “Our Babies—Always Loved, Always
Remembered—Memorial Album”

On March 25, 2009 bereaved parents and other infant health advocates from
around the country and from many different loss organizations will be coming
together on Capitol Hill to lobby for important legislation related to
stillbirth, SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and SUID (sudden unexpected
infant death.)

If you send us your baby's name, pictures, and or short stories, you will
help make it real to those who have the power to create legislation and
appropriate money to support research, awareness, and education on
stillbirth, SIDS, and SUID. We are creating a Baby Memorial Album that our
parent teams will leave with each Legislative office. Would you like your
baby's name/photo in it???

To learn more about how more about it and how to participate click here
www.firstcandle.org/our-babies/

Spring, the season of new life

2009-03-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

~We are forever changed for having known the gift that was you. We miss you terribly and who you would have been, But we are much better people because you have touched our lives... if only for a brief moment..~
As spring approaches we are often reminded of new life with feelings of renewal, warm weather, longer days, change, flowers, fresh air, and transition. For bereaved parents often times you look for something to take the pain away and make your lives alright again. Spring does not make everything okay; what it can do is remind us that regardless of what happens in our lives, natures process will continue, and that will offer us hope. Know that one day again you will welcome spring again. Be gentle and patient with yourself and nature. Be ready to let a little of the hope that spring can offer into your heart.

Fast-Paced World

2009-03-16T14:05:00.000-07:00

We live in a fast-paced world where emotions are often a sign of weakness. Often if our feelings tug on us during the day we want to tuck them away and hide them, either because we don’t have time to face them or we don’t want to let others know that we are struggling. However, I believe that God gives us feelings for a reason – they are often our soul or psyche’s way of letting us know that something is wrong or that there’s something we need to attend to, just as an aching limb tells us to take it easy on exercise or a sharp pain tells us something is broken. Take some time during the day to attend to your feelings. Acknowledge them. Allow yourself to cry, or to be angry. Write about it, or talk to someone about it. And be easy on yourself. Take a little time to do something you enjoy, talk to someone who loves you for who you are, and slow down a bit. Listen to the concerns on your heart and offer them up as a prayer.
Peace,
Chaplain Emily

C.A.R.E. Perinatal Bereavement Support Group

2008-09-01T00:05:00.003-07:00

We are pleased to announce, we now have a perinatal bereavement support group. Our support group is open to anyone who is dealing with a perinatal loss (miscarriage, stillborn, or newborn/infant death).

When:
First Tuesday of every month
Time:
6:30pm-8:00pm
Where:
Sierra Vista Regional Health Center- Outreach Center
1840 Paseo San Luis
Sierra Vista, Arizona 85635

If you would like more information, please call:
Rebecca Buksh at 520-234-0809

Welcome

2008-09-01T00:04:00.003-07:00

Welcome to C.A.R.E., your local, online resource for perinatal grief. In situations of grief and loss, it’s easy to feel alone or unsure about where to turn. C.A.R.E. staff at Sierra Vista Regional Health Center wants you to know that there are places to go and people to talk to while you heal and sort through the overwhelming emotions associated with loss.

This fledgling program hopes to grow into a firm foundation for parents living with loss in Cochise County, Arizona. We have a passion and the vision for supporting the quiet suffering so many women and families experience when a pregnancy ends unexpectedly.

Long-term goals include:

A local support group with a specific focus on perinatal grief.
Providing perinatal grief resources to local clergy and congregations.
Improving and expanding follow up care for perinatal grief patients at SVRHC, and the surrounding community.

In the meantime, we hope this blog will help connect you with the people, places and resources you need. Stay tuned for updates, articles and information to come and pass this blog on to your friends and family in need of support. Do you have a question or topic to be addressed by the C.A.R.E. staff? Don’t hesitate to contact us and add to the conversation.

God bless your journey. May you find the peace and comfort you are looking for.

Rebecca Buksh
C.A.R.E. Perinatal Bereavement Coordinator
Phone: 520-417-4557
Email: rebecca.buksh@svrhc.org
Sierra Vista Regional Health Center Website: http://www.svrhc.org/

What does C.A.R.E. stand for?

2008-09-01T00:03:00.000-07:00

Compassion ~ We vow to treat you with tender sympathy and kindness. We do not pretend to know how you feel and will not project expectations about your healing process. We are here to care for you from the moment you reach out for someone to walk with you while you grieve.

Attendance ~ We are here to connect you with local and online resources for perinatal grief and loss. The most effective form of advocacy is simple, dependable presence. We will support and encourage you by giving you the tools you need to remember your child, to pick up the pieces and to keep moving forward. While your experience and pain are unique, we are here to remind you that you do not have to brave this trial alone.

Recovery ~ You may wonder if you will every feel like yourself again. Sometimes it takes longer to recover than your loved ones expect, but it is important to take the time you need to mourn, remember and commemorate this emotional time in your life. The C.A.R.E. staff can walk with you through this process.

Empowerment ~ Losing a child can also mean losing a sense of control in life. Pregnancy is full of anticipation and planning for the future. An important part of the healing process is finding a sense of hope and optimism again. Connecting with others experiencing the effects of pregnancy loss or the C.A.R.E. staff can help validate your emotions and help you give yourself permission to start looking ahead.

We are here to walk with you on the road to recovery and empowerment in compassionate and attentive ways. If you let us know what you need, we will provide you with the best C.A.R.E. possible!

Prayers of peace and comfort be with you.

Q & A

2008-09-01T00:02:00.001-07:00

How do I contact the grief nursing staff at Sierra Vista Regional Health Center?

Perinatal Grief Coordinator: rebecca.buksh@svrhc.org
Phone: (520) 955-3441

Perinatal Grief Coordinator: jaclyn.hunter@svrhc.org
Phone: (520) 417-3547

Perinatal Grief Nurse: mary.austin@svrhc.org
Perinatal Grief Nurse: nona.lacy@svrhc.org
Perinatal Grief Staff: jan.johnson@svrhc.org

OB Nurses Station: (520) 417-3180

Are there local support groups for people grieving?

C.A.R.E. Perinatal Bereavement Support Group
(520)955-3441
When: The first Tuesday of every month @ 6:30 pm
Sierra Vista Regional Health Center (Outreach Center)
1840 Paseo San Luis
Sierra Vista, Arizona 85635

The Compassionate Friends
(520) 803-0004 or (520) 803-7797
When: The first Thursday of the month 6:30pm
Mountain View Assembly of God (annex)
Hwy 90 at Colombo Avenue in Sierra Vista

Footprints: Perinatal Loss Support Group
(520)-873-6590
When: The 2nd Tuesday of every month at 7:30 pm
St. Joseph's Women's Care Pavilion
Agave Room
Tucson, Arizona

Grief & Loss Support Group
*Not specific to Perinatal Grief and Loss*
(520) 459-0444
When: The last Tuesday of the month at 4:30pm
Sierra Ev. Lutheran Church
101 N. Lenzner Avenue in Sierra Vista

Are there other local resources that specialize in perinatal grief?

Care Net Pregnancy Center of Cochise County (adoption support)
222 E. Fry Blvd.
Sierra Vista, AZ 85635
(520) 459-LOVE

We Care Services in Safford
101 Main Street
Safford, AZ 85548
(928)428-9406

Cochise County Health in Bisbee
1415 West Meldoy Lane Bldg. A
Bisbee, AZ 85603
(520) 432-9471

Pregnancy & Breastfeeding Hotline
This program is located in Phoenix, but connects women via telephone in a much wider area.

Value Options: Counseling for mothers who have lost a baby. (800) 631-1314.

Warm Line: A support/phone group operated 5pm-10pm daily to connect mothers who want to talk with others who have lost babies. (602) 347-1100.

Crisis Line: A contact for mothers emotionally overwhelmed with the death of their child and considering suicide. (602) 222-9444.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline-1-800-273-TALK (8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With more than 130 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.
Para obtener asistencia en español durante las 24 horas, llame al 1-888-628-9454

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Yes there are please see the side bar of this blog for more details and contact information at Ft. Huachuca.

Reflections

2008-04-01T00:05:00.000-07:00

Samuel.
In the Jewish Scriptures, known to Christians as the Old Testament, the figure of Hannah is important. Hannah was not able to have children. The Scriptures say that the Lord closed up her womb (1 Samuel 1:5) and because of this, other women provoked her to sadness. In her distress Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly and vowing that if ever she should have a son born to her, she would dedicate him to the temple. She was a woman in deep distress and prayed as one was pouring her soul out before the Lord.
When the priest of the temple saw her, he thought she was drunk and he rebuked her saying, “How long will you make a drunken spectacle of yourself? Put away your wine” (1 Sam 1:14). But Hannah answered him, “Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation all this time” (1 Sam 1:16). Eli, the priest of the Temple, upon hearing Hannah’s situation, blessed her and said, “Go in peace; the God of Israel grant the petition you have made him.” She left, went home and was saddened no more.
In due time Hannah conceived a son and she named him Samuel, which means he who is sent from God. As she promised, she brought him to the temple to serve the Lord. Her prayer changed from one of anxiety and vexation to one of joy: “My heart exults in the Lord; my strength is exalted in my God. My mouth derides my enemies because I rejoice in my victory” (1 Sam 2:1). Hannah, waiting a lifetime for her child, gives him to the temple to serve God.
As my friends anxiously awaited their gift from God, their Samuel, they learned that there had been complications and that Samuel had died. The despair that one faces at the loss of a child is so great, so difficult that it is not possible to be imagined, not even when it is one of your friends, not even when it is someone in your family. The constant grief that a parent must bear is heavy and unrelenting.
Hannah teaches us that children are a blessing from God. She also teaches us to pray: open and honest, in anxiety and frustration as one pouring out her soul to the Lord. In the pit of despair, God hears your cries and your prayers. At your worst, God is with you and listens to you. In your greatest suffering, God is suffering along with you.
The grieving process can take a lifetime and that’s ok. Let your prayers come before God, for he hears you and is with you.

Reflections

2008-02-01T00:03:00.000-07:00

I will take up weeping and wailing. Jeremiah 9:10

The image of God that we are taught in books, classes and churches is usually an austere, cold, distance God. Jeremiah paints a different picture. The prophet Jeremiah paints a picture of a God who is affected by what is going on in the world. God says, “O that my head were a spring of water, and my eyes a fountain of tears, so that I might weep day and night…I will take up weeping and wailing” (Jeremiah 9:1, 10). The Gospel writer John, when reporting on the death of Lazarus, notes that, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35).
When William Sloane Coffin, an American preacher and scholar, experienced the death of his young son in a tragic car accident, he was not consoled by visitors who brought with them, casseroles, well-meaning bible verses, and the self-protecting words in an otherwise unspeakable situation, “It was the will of God.”
In regards to God’s will, Sloane Coffin says, “Never do we know enough to say that [it was the will of God]. My own consolation lies in knowing that it was not the will of God that Alex die; that when the waves closed over the sinking car, God's heart was the first of all our hearts to break.”
Heartbreak is a part of who God is and who God has been throughout all of human history. God’s heart breaks with yours. The pain is deep, but God is good and God is with you in your grief.

2007-12-01T00:02:00.000-07:00

“Listen carefully to my words, and let this be your consolation. Bear with me, and I will speak; then after I have spoken, mock on.” Job 21:2-3

The biblical character of Job helps us who are suffering to see themselves, God, and the world around them. Job was a righteous man. Then, Job was afflicted, lost everything that he loved. Questions of evil naturally arose; is Job’s suffering his own fault? Is it God’s fault? What now will become of Job?

As many of us are, Job was surrounded by good friends. These good friends were present for Job and offered support. Unfortunately, they, like most people in life’s unique situations, didn’t know what to say. Job did not receive any consolation from his friends. More than one mother or father who has suffered through the loss of a child has encountered horrible words from loving mouths.

This short word from the Book of Job offers nothing more than the authorization to feel and question what is going on around you. It also gives the one who is suffering permission to say to his or her comforter, “Thanks for your words, but, no thanks.” It is hard for friends and loved ones to know what to say for the simple reason that they don’t know the sufferings of another. Sometimes the best support we can give one another is just to sit silently and be present.

There is no complete answer to the question of evil, the wondering of why bad things happen to people, especially people who are “good.” We rest, along with Job, in the God who speaks out of the whirlwind and into our life. It is this God who promises that though our present suffering is real, it is not the end.

"BLUE CHRISTMAS"

2007-12-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

You are invited to a

Special Christmas Service of Comfort and Hope

"BLUE CHRISTMAS"

December 15, 2007

Saturday at 3:00pm

The joy of Christmas can turn into a time of painful loneliness and emptiness for those suffering a loss or who are going through a difficult time. The Pastors and Stephen Ministers of Faith Presbyterian Church recognize that and invite you to attend a special Christmas service, a "BLUE Christmas" service, designed specifically for those with heavy hearts this 2007 Christmas season.

Following the service, a reception will be held in the Fellowship Hall hosted by Stephen Ministers and Deacons of Faith Presbyterian Church.

Faith Presbyterian Church

2053 East Choctaw Drive, Sierra Vista, AZ 85650

Office Phone: 520-378-9400

The church is located west of Highway 92 on East Choctaw Drive OR take Buffalo Soldier Trail, South on Cherokee Avenue, West on Choctaw Drive.

God will wipe away every tear

2007-11-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more.
Revelation 21:3-4

It doesn’t take much—or anything at all—to convince the readers of a blog about Perinatal loss and grief that sadness abounds in this world of ours. The loss of a child, a baby, a little one is so untimely, so wrong that the world seems so backwards and so unjust to allow such a tragedy to happen.

You hear from people, from the bible, from pastors…that God will wipe away every tear, and this is true. However, this is not an admonition to “buck up” or “get over it;” it is to say that there are tears to wipe. It is an acknowledgement that your grief is real. It is an admonition to grieve in a way that you need to grieve, specific to your needs and your experiences.

That it is God who will wipe away every tear from your eyes is also a profound insight into God’s immediate closeness; God is with you in your grief, God knows every tear you cry, God is not afraid of your tears; in fact, God also cries with you.

At the same time, the God who dwells with you is the God who makes death, mourning, crying and pain cease to be. For now, these things are with us, but then they will no longer be.

God dwells with you, for you are God’s own child. Cry, weep, sob, grieve in the way that you need; it is God who will wipe away every tear.

Like those who lift infants to their cheeks…

2007-10-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

God tells the prophet Hosea, “I was to them like those who lift infants to their cheeks.^* I bent down to them and fed them” (Hosea 11:4). God’s relationship with creation is like a parent who loves a child. God is like a father who tenderly lifts an infant to his cheek. God is like a mother who has bent down to feed her child.

The language and imagery that Hosea uses to describe God’s relationship to Israel, God’s beloved child, is the same kind of language we use when we talk about our beloved child or children. We lift infants to our cheeks, kissing and smelling their heads. We bend down to feed our little ones, caring for their every need. We weep and mourn when we suffer their absence or loss.

As a parent, God feels for God’s children as you feel for your child. It is a bond that can never be broken. Throughout the Prophets, of which Hosea is one, God mourns deeply for the loss of God’s child, Israel. God wonders, “How can I give you up? How can I hand you over? How can I let you be devastated? How can I let you be destroyed?” At the thought of losing Israel, God’s heart recoils. So do our hearts recoil at the loss of a child.

The image of God as a parent offers a connection, a relation to you as a parent, especially as a parent who has suffered the loss of a child. You can relate to God’s heartache; God’s heartache relates to you. You understand what it means to have your heart recoil, to have your heart turn and shrink within you.

And yet, you are also a child, God’s child, one whom God lifts to God’s cheeks, one to whom God bends down to feed. As you weep, God weeps with you because you are God’s own child. Your grief matters to God. God knows your loss and feels your heartache. God isn’t afraid of your pain for God has felt that very pain. God is with you in your loss.

She had heard about Jesus, and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, for she said, "If I but touch his clothes, I will be made well."

2007-09-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

Healing happens in many different ways. This woman had been bleeding for twelve years. She was probably a social outcast, unemployed and unable to have children. Her pain was very physical, the blood a reminder of her hurt and pain. She had spent all her money trying to find a doctor who could help her, but no relief came. It seemed the world had given up on her.

Sometimes we're willing to trying anything when we feel desperate. She had heard about Jesus and was willing to take a risk in approaching him. The woman's hemorrhage made her untouchable, but she ran into the crowd to connect with Jesus, hoping that his power and compassion could make her well.

She ran into the crowd on faith. She was out of money and connections, so bold desperation was her last hope. Her healing was swift and physical. Sometimes healing is gradual and emotional or quiet and relational. Grief and pain can separate us from God and the people we love, but it is never too late to reach out for someone's touch and compassion. Surrounding yourself with people who love and care for you can help you grieve in healthy ways. The healing touch of Jesus can come from prayer or reading stories of healing in the bible.

Jesus knows your pain - he came to earth to share our emotions and experiences more fully. May this woman remind you that you are not alone and that healing and hope are a part of your future.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." - Jeremiah 1:5

2007-08-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah is wondering why God wants him to be a prophet. God wants Jeremiah to know that even before Jeremiah was conceived, God knew him and loved him.

These words can be of some comfort to a mother grieving the loss of a pregnancy. You might feel as if you were the only one who ever knew and will ever know your unborn child. These thoughts can be extremely lonely and sad.

Here in Jeremiah, God tells all of us that we were known by heaven long before our conception or birth. Whether or not we breathe on this earth, we are part of God's plan and loved by God. When tragedy strikes, it can seem as though God decides to take something away from us, but pain and loss are never God's intentions for this world.

When life was created, God knew that free will and the presence of evil would challenge every happiness and perfection in mysterious ways. God knew we would want to shake our fists at heaven and demand an explanation or apology when life is unfair.

If it feels like God is silent, perhaps He is silent because He is listening and waiting to receive everything you will unload onto him. Cast your burdens, shake your fists and cry your tears. God wants to take your pain and to grieve with you. God knows better than anyone that death and pain can leave us feeling broken.

By inviting God to weep and mourn with you, He can begin to mold the aftermath of sadness and loss into a hopeful future. This is what God does best.

Remember that God knows and loves your baby too, and trusting that means you are never really alone.