Q & A

How do I contact the grief nursing staff at Sierra Vista Regional Health Center?

Perinatal Grief Coordinator: rebecca.buksh@svrhc.org
Phone: (520) 955-3441

Perinatal Grief Coordinator: jaclyn.hunter@svrhc.org
Phone: (520) 417-3547

Perinatal Grief Nurse: mary.austin@svrhc.org
Perinatal Grief Nurse: nona.lacy@svrhc.org
Perinatal Grief Staff: jan.johnson@svrhc.org

OB Nurses Station: (520) 417-3180

Are there local support groups for people grieving?

C.A.R.E. Perinatal Bereavement Support Group
(520)955-3441
When: The first Tuesday of every month @ 6:30 pm
Sierra Vista Regional Health Center (Outreach Center)
1840 Paseo San Luis
Sierra Vista, Arizona 85635

The Compassionate Friends
(520) 803-0004 or (520) 803-7797
When: The first Thursday of the month 6:30pm
Mountain View Assembly of God (annex)
Hwy 90 at Colombo Avenue in Sierra Vista

Footprints: Perinatal Loss Support Group
(520)-873-6590
When: The 2nd Tuesday of every month at 7:30 pm
St. Joseph's Women's Care Pavilion
Agave Room
Tucson, Arizona

Grief & Loss Support Group
*Not specific to Perinatal Grief and Loss*
(520) 459-0444
When: The last Tuesday of the month at 4:30pm
Sierra Ev. Lutheran Church
101 N. Lenzner Avenue in Sierra Vista

Are there other local resources that specialize in perinatal grief?

Care Net Pregnancy Center of Cochise County (adoption support)
222 E. Fry Blvd.
Sierra Vista, AZ 85635
(520) 459-LOVE

We Care Services in Safford
101 Main Street
Safford, AZ 85548
(928)428-9406

Cochise County Health in Bisbee
1415 West Meldoy Lane Bldg. A
Bisbee, AZ 85603
(520) 432-9471

Pregnancy & Breastfeeding Hotline
This program is located in Phoenix, but connects women via telephone in a much wider area.

• Value Options: Counseling for mothers who have lost a baby. (800) 631-1314.

• Warm Line: A support/phone group operated 5pm-10pm daily to connect mothers who want to talk with others who have lost babies. (602) 347-1100.

• Crisis Line: A contact for mothers emotionally overwhelmed with the death of their child and considering suicide. (602) 222-9444.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline-1-800-273-TALK (8255)

• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With more than 130 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.
  
• Para obtener asistencia en español durante las 24 horas, llame al 1-888-628-9454

I'm in the military or a dependent of an active duty member are there benefits I'm entitled to?

Yes there are please see the side bar of this blog for more details and contact information at Ft. Huachuca.

Reflections

Samuel.
In the Jewish Scriptures, known to Christians as the Old Testament, the figure of Hannah is important. Hannah was not able to have children. The Scriptures say that the Lord closed up her womb (1 Samuel 1:5) and because of this, other women provoked her to sadness. In her distress Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly and vowing that if ever she should have a son born to her, she would dedicate him to the temple. She was a woman in deep distress and prayed as one was pouring her soul out before the Lord.
When the priest of the temple saw her, he thought she was drunk and he rebuked her saying, “How long will you make a drunken spectacle of yourself? Put away your wine” (1 Sam 1:14). But Hannah answered him, “Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation all this time” (1 Sam 1:16). Eli, the priest of the Temple, upon hearing Hannah’s situation, blessed her and said, “Go in peace; the God of Israel grant the petition you have made him.” She left, went home and was saddened no more.
In due time Hannah conceived a son and she named him Samuel, which means he who is sent from God. As she promised, she brought him to the temple to serve the Lord. Her prayer changed from one of anxiety and vexation to one of joy: “My heart exults in the Lord; my strength is exalted in my God. My mouth derides my enemies because I rejoice in my victory” (1 Sam 2:1). Hannah, waiting a lifetime for her child, gives him to the temple to serve God.
As my friends anxiously awaited their gift from God, their Samuel, they learned that there had been complications and that Samuel had died. The despair that one faces at the loss of a child is so great, so difficult that it is not possible to be imagined, not even when it is one of your friends, not even when it is someone in your family. The constant grief that a parent must bear is heavy and unrelenting.
Hannah teaches us that children are a blessing from God. She also teaches us to pray: open and honest, in anxiety and frustration as one pouring out her soul to the Lord. In the pit of despair, God hears your cries and your prayers. At your worst, God is with you and listens to you. In your greatest suffering, God is suffering along with you.
The grieving process can take a lifetime and that’s ok. Let your prayers come before God, for he hears you and is with you.

Reflections

I will take up weeping and wailing. Jeremiah 9:10

The image of God that we are taught in books, classes and churches is usually an austere, cold, distance God. Jeremiah paints a different picture. The prophet Jeremiah paints a picture of a God who is affected by what is going on in the world. God says, “O that my head were a spring of water, and my eyes a fountain of tears, so that I might weep day and night…I will take up weeping and wailing” (Jeremiah 9:1, 10). The Gospel writer John, when reporting on the death of Lazarus, notes that, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35).
When William Sloane Coffin, an American preacher and scholar, experienced the death of his young son in a tragic car accident, he was not consoled by visitors who brought with them, casseroles, well-meaning bible verses, and the self-protecting words in an otherwise unspeakable situation, “It was the will of God.”
In regards to God’s will, Sloane Coffin says, “Never do we know enough to say that [it was the will of God]. My own consolation lies in knowing that it was not the will of God that Alex die; that when the waves closed over the sinking car, God's heart was the first of all our hearts to break.”
Heartbreak is a part of who God is and who God has been throughout all of human history. God’s heart breaks with yours. The pain is deep, but God is good and God is with you in your grief.

“Listen carefully to my words, and let this be your consolation. Bear with me, and I will speak; then after I have spoken, mock on.” Job 21:2-3

The biblical character of Job helps us who are suffering to see themselves, God, and the world around them. Job was a righteous man. Then, Job was afflicted, lost everything that he loved. Questions of evil naturally arose; is Job’s suffering his own fault? Is it God’s fault? What now will become of Job?

As many of us are, Job was surrounded by good friends. These good friends were present for Job and offered support. Unfortunately, they, like most people in life’s unique situations, didn’t know what to say. Job did not receive any consolation from his friends. More than one mother or father who has suffered through the loss of a child has encountered horrible words from loving mouths.

This short word from the Book of Job offers nothing more than the authorization to feel and question what is going on around you. It also gives the one who is suffering permission to say to his or her comforter, “Thanks for your words, but, no thanks.” It is hard for friends and loved ones to know what to say for the simple reason that they don’t know the sufferings of another. Sometimes the best support we can give one another is just to sit silently and be present.

There is no complete answer to the question of evil, the wondering of why bad things happen to people, especially people who are “good.” We rest, along with Job, in the God who speaks out of the whirlwind and into our life. It is this God who promises that though our present suffering is real, it is not the end.

"BLUE CHRISTMAS"

You are invited to a

Special Christmas Service of Comfort and Hope

"BLUE CHRISTMAS"

December 15, 2007

Saturday at 3:00pm

The joy of Christmas can turn into a time of painful loneliness and emptiness for those suffering a loss or who are going through a difficult time. The Pastors and Stephen Ministers of Faith Presbyterian Church recognize that and invite you to attend a special Christmas service, a "BLUE Christmas" service, designed specifically for those with heavy hearts this 2007 Christmas season.

Following the service, a reception will be held in the Fellowship Hall hosted by Stephen Ministers and Deacons of Faith Presbyterian Church.

Faith Presbyterian Church

2053 East Choctaw Drive, Sierra Vista, AZ 85650

Office Phone: 520-378-9400

The church is located west of Highway 92 on East Choctaw Drive OR take Buffalo Soldier Trail, South on Cherokee Avenue, West on Choctaw Drive.

God will wipe away every tear

See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more.
Revelation 21:3-4

It doesn’t take much—or anything at all—to convince the readers of a blog about Perinatal loss and grief that sadness abounds in this world of ours. The loss of a child, a baby, a little one is so untimely, so wrong that the world seems so backwards and so unjust to allow such a tragedy to happen.

You hear from people, from the bible, from pastors…that God will wipe away every tear, and this is true. However, this is not an admonition to “buck up” or “get over it;” it is to say that there are tears to wipe. It is an acknowledgement that your grief is real. It is an admonition to grieve in a way that you need to grieve, specific to your needs and your experiences.

That it is God who will wipe away every tear from your eyes is also a profound insight into God’s immediate closeness; God is with you in your grief, God knows every tear you cry, God is not afraid of your tears; in fact, God also cries with you.

At the same time, the God who dwells with you is the God who makes death, mourning, crying and pain cease to be. For now, these things are with us, but then they will no longer be.

God dwells with you, for you are God’s own child. Cry, weep, sob, grieve in the way that you need; it is God who will wipe away every tear.

Like those who lift infants to their cheeks…

God tells the prophet Hosea, “I was to them like those who lift infants to their cheeks.^* I bent down to them and fed them” (Hosea 11:4). God’s relationship with creation is like a parent who loves a child. God is like a father who tenderly lifts an infant to his cheek. God is like a mother who has bent down to feed her child.

The language and imagery that Hosea uses to describe God’s relationship to Israel, God’s beloved child, is the same kind of language we use when we talk about our beloved child or children. We lift infants to our cheeks, kissing and smelling their heads. We bend down to feed our little ones, caring for their every need. We weep and mourn when we suffer their absence or loss.

As a parent, God feels for God’s children as you feel for your child. It is a bond that can never be broken. Throughout the Prophets, of which Hosea is one, God mourns deeply for the loss of God’s child, Israel. God wonders, “How can I give you up? How can I hand you over? How can I let you be devastated? How can I let you be destroyed?” At the thought of losing Israel, God’s heart recoils. So do our hearts recoil at the loss of a child.

The image of God as a parent offers a connection, a relation to you as a parent, especially as a parent who has suffered the loss of a child. You can relate to God’s heartache; God’s heartache relates to you. You understand what it means to have your heart recoil, to have your heart turn and shrink within you.

And yet, you are also a child, God’s child, one whom God lifts to God’s cheeks, one to whom God bends down to feed. As you weep, God weeps with you because you are God’s own child. Your grief matters to God. God knows your loss and feels your heartache. God isn’t afraid of your pain for God has felt that very pain. God is with you in your loss.