Grief vs. Depression

After the death of your baby there are many emotions one may experience and often you may not know how to explain your feelings or how to get help. A common question often asked, “Is this normal grieving or am I falling into depression. Often times these two can be easily mixed up and you can drive yourself crazy trying to decipher which one you are actually experiencing. After the death of your baby you may experience the normal grief response which is often an intense emotional and physical response to the loss which may come in waves and make you feel like you are on an emotional rollercoaster. It is most important to realize that normal grief does not usually turn into depression. Although it takes time you will learn to adjust your life what your new norm is after your babies death.

Things to watch for are how long the symptoms last and if they get worse. This could be complicated grief or depression.

These two charts give an overview of characteristics of grief and depression. If in doubt seek a medical professional or counselor to be evaluated.


Grief:
A normal complicated response to loss that causes distress
May experience some physical symptoms of distress
Still able to look toward the future
Passive wish for death
Associated with disease progression
Retains capacity for pleasure
Still able to express feelings and humor
Comes in waves
Can cope with distress on own or with supportive listening


Depression:
Generalized distress – loss of interest, pleasure
Somatic distress, hopelessness, guilt
No sense of positive future
Bored, lack of interest and expression
Suicidal ideation not uncommon
Persistent flat affect, negative self-image
Advanced disease and pain
Change in capacity to enjoy life or things that were formerly pleasurable
Constant, unremitting
Often requires intervention with medication, therapy


Source: Casarett D, Kutner JS, Abrahm J. Life after Death: A Practical Approach to Grief and Bereavement. Ann Intern Med 2001;134:208-215.